I have no idea where to start..
I have my childhood memories of him and mostly their home.. I remember the dairy, him in the garden always picking something..I remember playing behind the garage and the numerous tennis balls to be found there. I remember the front porch and fruit trees, the big overhanging tree out the front, the long slip sliding hallway. The dark bedrooms, the sewing room that we we we never allowed in.. His yellow ute...The chairs they sat on in their lounge..
You would think these memories enough..The most important to me.. But in the present, what matters now, was that he was also important to our children. The girls. Knowing him, being with him was important to them and therefore to me....
I thought we would have longer..I hoped for more years.. We talked about the five girls, the cousins and sisters, formimg those life long memories of fun, free times spent in his company at his house..I don't know if there has been enough time.
Will they remember playing in the garage with the old toys?
Pushing around the old prams?
Will they remember Panny's banana lounge?
Running in the puddles in only their socks on a Winter's Day?
Will they remember that he kept tic toc biscuits just for them?
That he chased them with his cane, chuckling as they hid behind our legs?
Will they remember checking his mail?
Playing with the suitcase of our old barbies and always getting us to put the head on the always headless one??
Will they remember playing with the pegs from the clothes line?
Will they remember picking the petals from the roses and scattering then around??
Trying to sweep up the rose petals in a swirling breeze?
Maybe they won't. But I will. I will remind them.. and I will tell them about the times that no-one could possibly expect them to remember..
I will tell them that he saw them sit up when previously they couldn't. He saw them eat their first solid foods.. He watched them crawl and then finally walk. He heard their first words and pulled at their first ponytails.
He smiled when they hid behind me rather than approach him and waited patiently through first all the nappy changes and eventually all the toilet stops..
He listened to many toddler tears, silly giggles and tanties.. He found barbie clothes in his couch and coconut crumbs on his floor..
He saw outfits change from toddler clothes to school uniforms and morning tea change to afternoon tea.. He drank endless cups of tea and dined with us on golfballs, donuts and even on occasion birthday cake..
He smiled again when they would run ahead of us into the kitchen to greet him with kisses and cuddles and listened patiently to the adult gossip of netball and of late, weddings and babies..
He said goodbye every month, covered in the early days, with kisses from tiny, shy little girls and then eventually from big eager girls...And so now I will say it too...
GOODBYE PAPA..From your girls...We miss you and love you very much...Thank you for letting our girls grow with you and with each other too...It has meant so much.. And I will make sure our newest baby, who moved inside me for the first time today knows all about you..
XXXXXX
